Online Dating Secret Friends

Dating Relationships Online Secret Friends Guide

Dating Relationships Built To Last Forever

By Janine Jensenoris

Social relationships are important to human development. With friendships, an individual finds a voice. A person learns his or her boundaries, communication style, wants and needs from interacting with others. We use social interactions as gauges that tell us how "normal" we are, comparatively and then review our options.

We add up pros and cons of our lovers and weigh other options to determine how long our dating relationships should last. It can be difficult to determine what healthy relationships are these days, since so many surrounding relationships seem to carry their own dysfunctions; yet an understanding of this matter can prevent irreversible damage to our self-esteem and psyches.

Positive interpersonal relationships don’t always come naturally. Sometimes emotions get in the way of healthy dating relationships and anger clouds a person’s judgment. Communication theorists recommend a tactic called "going out to the balcony" to deal with intense emotions.

Relaxing And Clearing Your Mind

When a person literally walks onto a balcony, he or she will look down at the ground below, where the people and objects look so small. A breath of fresh air clears the mind and that moment of solitude produces a feeling of relaxation.

Similarly, if a person excuses him or herself to take a quick walk around the block, step outside for a breath of air or to go into the other room for a moment to calm down, the problems will suddenly appear insignificant and the overall picture can be more clearly observed.

Dissipating Angry And Impulsive Thoughts

Breathing techniques, similar to those used in meditation or yoga can come in handy to slow down the heartbeat. "Going out to the balcony," whether literally or metaphorically, allows angry, impulsive thoughts to dissipate and is a very helpful technique. Following this, one must return to the other partner and participate in positive communication to get to the root of the problem.

Marriage counseling therapists use tools that are also effective for dating relationships, such as a nine-step process called "Emotional Freedom Techniques." When a couple arrives, the first step is to lay out the problems.

Uncovering Real Relationship Issues

Most couples will fight over laundry or paying the bills, which are surface-level issues that may happen repetitively, but it’s the goal of the therapist to uncover the real relationship issues troubling them. The next step, then, is to realize the destructive cycle and the underlying needs/wants that fuel this negative pattern.

The third step is to understand what’s fueling one’s emotions. In the fourth step, partners become less combative and realize that no one is to blame, but rather, the cycle is the common enemy they must defeat. Partners become more honest and admit their deepest fears and desires in the fifth step.

Brainstorming And Problem Solving

In the sixth step, the partners should acknowledge each other’s feelings. In the seventh step, couples become closer because of the newfound realizations and the eighth step involves brainstorming and problem solving. Lastly, the partners vow to stay on-track and prevent relapses.

There are many ways to save dating relationships that are not working properly. First, it’s important to accept someone as he or she is. Trying to change or mold a person is unfair and almost always causes deep-seated unhappiness. Secondly, a partner must realize it’s impossible to "always be right."

Helping To Build Trust By Keeping Out Lies

Sometimes, even if a person knows he or she is right, it’s still important to compromise for the greater good. One must ask, "Is it more important that I’m right or that I’m happy?" Thirdly, there must be no lies in healthy relationships.

Of course, "no lying" doesn’t always mean brutal honesty, as tact is just as essential to the mix and feelings must also be considered.

Learn To Let It Go

Fourth of all, sometimes we need to learn to just let it go. For instance, if a person has cheated in the past, the other partner needs to end the relationship or decide to get over it and never bring it up again.

Lastly, couples must have time together but must also have lives apart from one another. It’s not healthy to spend every waking moment together, losing friends and passions along the way.

About the Author: Janine Jensenoris is a popular author of dating articles including Adult Personals, Blind Dating, Chat Websites, Real Friends, Adult Party Favors, Conversation Starters, Abusive Relationships, Difficult People, Anger Management, Interracial Relationships.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.

More Relationship Facts....

Have you ever just looked at your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend and just wondered what was happening in your relationship? If so then you are not alone. Many people overlook the need for relationship tuneups because they do not want to admit that things may be becoming stagnant or that there is a problem.

Relationships take a lot of work and effort. So if you can find the right guidelines, you can start working to improve your relationship. It may be just knowing the right questions to ask or scheduling a special date night.

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