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Blame Game Online Dating Secret Friends Guide

Blame Game And Avoiding Relationship Breakdown

By Janine Jensenoris

Blame game is a trap many couples can fall into, when trying to save a failing relationship. Your relationship may be a couple in marriage, boyfriend and girlfriend or just a couple living together.

It is easy to put all the weaknesses of the relationship on your partner. But, this is where the trouble begins and dooms any attempt to rebuild your relationship.

So how can you avoid the blame game and actually save your relationship? There are a few tips and techniques you need to review and use, if you really want your relationship to succeed.

Never Speak When You Are Angry

Your first step is to never speak when you are angry. You may disagree about certain things, but staying together is to find a compromise of mutual benefit, rather than endless arguments and shouting matches.

It is easy to say the worst things, in a fit of anger, that you would not say when you are calm. So, remember what your kindergarten teacher taught you, "If you can not say something nice, then do not say anything."

Calm Down And Gather Your Thoughts

You only need to change it a bit. When the temperature is soaring then take a few minutes to calm down, gather your thoughts and give your partner time to gather their breath. Take a break, and relax for a few minutes. In the morning light, when all is quiet, you may think of a solution that may be of mutual benefit.

The second step is to stop thinking about the past and all the mistakes in your relationship. You can try to stop sweating on minor details. Instead, you can think about how you can help each other, by staying together and not dwell on things and watch your relationship fall apart.

Time To Delete The Memory Bank

You do not need to remember all the harsh words spoken in anger, that came from not following step one, and keeping everything in memory. It is time to delete the memory bank and let the sunshine into your relationship. Concentrate on the problem at hand and think of a solution and not bring up small petty problems of the past.

Of course, if there is adultery involved, or something big, you cannot use this step, but you can use it to solve little things that sabotage often productive conversations. There are such things as productive arguments as well. Which brings us the third step, the last step.

Learn To Forgive

The third step is about learning to forgive. Yes, there are some things that are easy to blame the other partner, but it takes two people to end a wedding to remember. It takes two people to fight.

The blame game is all about the little things. If both people can learn to forgive and sometimes forget, then there may be steps towards identifying the root causes of discontent and save a failing marriage. It will not be easy to leave behind the blame game, but it can be done.

Little Problems Solved Before They Become One Big Problem

Take a long, deep breath and realize how your relationship started and it is still there. When you take away the blame game and take personal responsibility for your actions, then your partner will hopefully do the same.

It will not always be easy, but there are always solutions, especially for the little problems. If the little problems can be solved, before they become one huge problem, then you may save your relationship.

About the Author:
Janine Jensenoris is a popular author of dating articles including Adult Personals, Blind Dating, Chat Websites, Real Friends, Adult Party Favors, Conversation Starters, Abusive Relationships, Difficult People, Anger Management, Mother Daughter Relationships, Interracial Relationships.
Keep a lookout for more articles coming soon.


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